This saturday morning I will leave from the Handicrafts center in Bandar to Temburong where I will spend 6 days 5 nights in the jungle. Wish me luck, I will have to contend against tribes of cannibals, flesh eating disease, Mosquitoes the size of pens and other unseen dangers. Despite all this I remain confident I would survive this ordeal, even though my right wrist is injured. I'm the one-armed bandit bitches, nothing can bring me down.
As a toast for my future torture session I ordered pizza, a large super supreme. Which I finished by myself. A feat to be proud of. Tell your grandchildren. When I think about it pizza is the perfect representation of human civilization. It's in an orderly circle, divided into slices, greasy, unhealthy, impersonal, cold and lacks personality but goooooooooooooooood.
Stalking around in the jungle looking for food to last you the cold nights, you spot a monkey. It goes into a blind rage, followed by a testosterone induced charge towards you. You give it a hard headbutt to defend yourself, it staggers. You take this opportunity to grab it by the neck, and beat it's face to a bloody pulp. When the monkey goes limp, you grab it's neck and twist until you hear a satisfying crick. Eat it raw or cook it, your preference.
Now THAT'S food with a personal touch.
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