I have been under a lot of strain lately from school, R.B.A , the MOE interviews and the medical check ups. And frankly, it's been eating me away.
Musa the person in charge of the new pilot candidates is a tight-ass. He constantly puts us in the pressure pot. And would lay any of us off in a heartbeat if he deems so. Despite what people and myself have been saying, I am not 100% guaranteed that I am going to be sent for flight training. I still have to make myself worthy for MOE and pass all my medicals and keep Mr.Musa happy.
Which leaves me thinking, what if I don't get this scholarship? Will it be the end for me? No, a thousand times no. My friends have hyped up the news that I got the scholarship considerably. Which makes me a bit uneasy, I don't like to disappoint anyone. IF I don't get this scholarship, I will just continue my A-levels and achieve good results, making my options wider. Who knows, not getting it may be the best thing that will happen to me. A stumble may prevent a fall. When one door closes, many more will always open.
Will I be disappointed with myself? Again NO. If I am not pleased with myself, but should wish to be other than I am, why should I think highly of the influences which have made me what I am? Every ordeal happens for a reason. To make you stronger. I have learned quite a lot from Musa and for that I am grateful. I am a better person because of him. That alone makes this whole experience worthwhile. Scholarship or no scholarship, thank you MR Musa.
Got rejected from a scholarship? It's not the end of the world. Don't go for some other scholarship you don't really want out of desperation. I know I know, when the pain is great enough, we will let anyone play doctor. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Rejection hurts a lot and no deep wound leave no scars. So after some time, take a quick look at your scars and remember what you've learned. They are not things to be ashamed of, because they show your worth as a person. Just remember that whatever is done, is done. A thousand men can't undress a naked man. Just.move.on.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The world outside
E-speed has been down for almost 3 days now. And I'm trying to find alternative ways of entertaining myself. I might have to go....*gasp* outside.
My imaginary friend, Pyotr will be my guide. After opening the front door for the first time I was greeted by a blazing hot luminous ball of fire in the sky. It's radiance was burning my skin so I quickly went back inside, after catching my breath I asked Pyotr what the aforementioned blazing hot luminous ball of fire was called. He told me it was known as the sun. Hmm must research further.
After gathering enough courage, and after layers of sunblock I managed to venture outside. Pyotr thought that we should play a game. He gave me a long stick, with an oblong shape as it's 'head', it had a net of some sorts.Pyotr demonstrated to me how the game is to be played. We are to use the stick to hit a feathery object of unknown origin and deflect it toward each other. Very interesting and quite fun.
After Pyotr got bored of me sucking, he decided that our next activity would be to take a 'walk' around the 'neighbourhood'. During which I met other 'people' called 'humans' who look a little different than I do but act very similar. Must research further, could it be that this 'outside' harbors intelligent life? Me an Pyotr moved on until we reached a place called a 'shopping complex' and I observed that humans like to gather there and exchange little pieces of paper for food and other material objects. Pyotr told me, quite sadly that humans are forced to work themselves hard to obtain those little pieces of paper, sometimes to the breaking point but alas that is how the world works he added. I observed that humans tend to divide themselves into groups. Based on what clothes they wear,the type of music they listen to and how they behave. A particular group called 'emo's baffles me, they defy all rules of evolution, because they vie to self-destruct. And they seem to be hated by everyone. Must research further.I found that this 'categorisation' is sad and division always leads to hate and bigotry.
Oh I forgot to mention that there are two types of humans, male and female. They both are very different in terms of appearance but also very similar, as one of the 'rappers' always say, ya dig?Sometimes a male falls in 'love' with a female and if the female likes the male they will be called a 'couple'.This symbiotic relationship is highly baffling and often self-destructive. But it can also be, at the same time beautiful and full of meaning. I can safely say that I am male and 'single'. I notice that these couples tend to 'fight' over small and trivial matters, and sometimes even 'break up' over them. Quite sad really, because I personally think they should appreciate that they have someone to share your problems and thoughts with, someone to care for and have a deep connection with. Things that 'singles' lack in their lives.
It was time to head home. During the way we passed by a school. Pyotr told me that school is the most important time in a human's life. It is where they study and make friends. It is the veritable furnace where it is up to them to shape their own fate and futures.
I am tired and it is time to bring this thesis to a close. Humans are odd but great creatures, highly diverse and capable. Even with the great uncertainty in their lives and the curse of death, they go on with great hope and optimism. An admirable trait.
Manic but never lethargic
Azeef
My imaginary friend, Pyotr will be my guide. After opening the front door for the first time I was greeted by a blazing hot luminous ball of fire in the sky. It's radiance was burning my skin so I quickly went back inside, after catching my breath I asked Pyotr what the aforementioned blazing hot luminous ball of fire was called. He told me it was known as the sun. Hmm must research further.
After gathering enough courage, and after layers of sunblock I managed to venture outside. Pyotr thought that we should play a game. He gave me a long stick, with an oblong shape as it's 'head', it had a net of some sorts.Pyotr demonstrated to me how the game is to be played. We are to use the stick to hit a feathery object of unknown origin and deflect it toward each other. Very interesting and quite fun.
After Pyotr got bored of me sucking, he decided that our next activity would be to take a 'walk' around the 'neighbourhood'. During which I met other 'people' called 'humans' who look a little different than I do but act very similar. Must research further, could it be that this 'outside' harbors intelligent life? Me an Pyotr moved on until we reached a place called a 'shopping complex' and I observed that humans like to gather there and exchange little pieces of paper for food and other material objects. Pyotr told me, quite sadly that humans are forced to work themselves hard to obtain those little pieces of paper, sometimes to the breaking point but alas that is how the world works he added. I observed that humans tend to divide themselves into groups. Based on what clothes they wear,the type of music they listen to and how they behave. A particular group called 'emo's baffles me, they defy all rules of evolution, because they vie to self-destruct. And they seem to be hated by everyone. Must research further.I found that this 'categorisation' is sad and division always leads to hate and bigotry.
Oh I forgot to mention that there are two types of humans, male and female. They both are very different in terms of appearance but also very similar, as one of the 'rappers' always say, ya dig?Sometimes a male falls in 'love' with a female and if the female likes the male they will be called a 'couple'.This symbiotic relationship is highly baffling and often self-destructive. But it can also be, at the same time beautiful and full of meaning. I can safely say that I am male and 'single'. I notice that these couples tend to 'fight' over small and trivial matters, and sometimes even 'break up' over them. Quite sad really, because I personally think they should appreciate that they have someone to share your problems and thoughts with, someone to care for and have a deep connection with. Things that 'singles' lack in their lives.
It was time to head home. During the way we passed by a school. Pyotr told me that school is the most important time in a human's life. It is where they study and make friends. It is the veritable furnace where it is up to them to shape their own fate and futures.
I am tired and it is time to bring this thesis to a close. Humans are odd but great creatures, highly diverse and capable. Even with the great uncertainty in their lives and the curse of death, they go on with great hope and optimism. An admirable trait.
Manic but never lethargic
Azeef
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Azeef's happy fun rainbow adventure
I woke up really bombed and hung over because I fasted for 14 hours, being hungry and not being able to eat sucks ass. Anyway I showered and - by the way I have this one song shower rule, I play Audioslave's be yourself really loud on my computer so I can hear it in the shower. when the song's over I stop showering. Why? To stop me from getting carried away and not be late for school haha. Where was I? oh yeah after showering I went to Anggerek Desa and met up with the other candidates, there should be 10 of us but Aiman and Zul were late ( as usual). Hahah kami sorang sorang membawa urine sample lapas tu kami banding-banding, bnyk tia STD jokes terabang.
I was the third to have the blood test, Zudin was first. It was funny seeing him flinch hahahahah.
When it was my turn start tia becali dorang, ketawa2 nurse nya iatah guyang2 the needle -_- , even now my arm's still a bit sore. She took two small test tubes worth of blood.
After everyone was done kami ke RIPAS to get our ECG test ( To check for heart beat, systole and diastole all that jazz, to check for any abnormalities) and X-rays. We split up into two groups, I was in the ECG group. We went to the chest clinic and met this guy who is apparently a sadistic maniac who enjoys psychological torture. Masa my turn he connected these wires to my chest ad tanya ," Sakit ni, at least 500 volts ni." So I was laying there, nervous and after 5 seconds he said ," Bah abis udah, pakai tah baju". I was like ," WTF that's it?" I felt nothing, that bastard. My heart rate was 90 beats per minute tarus -_-
After we're all done he showed us all our graphs, mine was probably the funniest looking because my amplitude BASAR brabis, pasal TAKUT iatah KUAT my heartbeats -_- . Next, the X-rays. I was excited because it was the first X ray I ever took. It was quick and painless , but we didnt get to see our X ray pics though unfortunately.
The clerks told us our medical reports would be ready in the afternoon so what to do? What we did was we went to Ah thai or something, can't remember the name, for lunch. Everyone was really hungry because technically we havent eaten in 16 hours. So we gobbled our lunches and went to the mall to kill time.
Kali balik ke RIPAS, get our results etc etc and went back to anggerek desa to hand our results in. Mine's all good so far.
The end, because my left arm still sucks.
I was the third to have the blood test, Zudin was first. It was funny seeing him flinch hahahahah.
When it was my turn start tia becali dorang, ketawa2 nurse nya iatah guyang2 the needle -_- , even now my arm's still a bit sore. She took two small test tubes worth of blood.
After everyone was done kami ke RIPAS to get our ECG test ( To check for heart beat, systole and diastole all that jazz, to check for any abnormalities) and X-rays. We split up into two groups, I was in the ECG group. We went to the chest clinic and met this guy who is apparently a sadistic maniac who enjoys psychological torture. Masa my turn he connected these wires to my chest ad tanya ," Sakit ni, at least 500 volts ni." So I was laying there, nervous and after 5 seconds he said ," Bah abis udah, pakai tah baju". I was like ," WTF that's it?" I felt nothing, that bastard. My heart rate was 90 beats per minute tarus -_-
After we're all done he showed us all our graphs, mine was probably the funniest looking because my amplitude BASAR brabis, pasal TAKUT iatah KUAT my heartbeats -_- . Next, the X-rays. I was excited because it was the first X ray I ever took. It was quick and painless , but we didnt get to see our X ray pics though unfortunately.
The clerks told us our medical reports would be ready in the afternoon so what to do? What we did was we went to Ah thai or something, can't remember the name, for lunch. Everyone was really hungry because technically we havent eaten in 16 hours. So we gobbled our lunches and went to the mall to kill time.
Kali balik ke RIPAS, get our results etc etc and went back to anggerek desa to hand our results in. Mine's all good so far.
The end, because my left arm still sucks.
Monday, April 7, 2008
My piss
After finishing school at 12.30 I went for medical centre berakas for a medical check up. I came early though at around 12.50 so I had to wait for an hour and 10 minutes pasal the place tutup lunch break -_- . Anyway I asked around for the doctor and went up to the third floor where her office is. She gave me a long briefing about my appointments, I wasnt really listening and was thinking about how hot she was. I'm a guy so sue me.
Then we we got our blood pressure checked. I got maximum blood pressure of 110 and minimum of 65, which is very healthy.
Anyway we have to come back tommorow for a blood and urine test. She told me take a urine sample at home. Ada lagi 'technique' nya tu, which is to keluar kan sikit and then tahan and THEN baru tah fill the canister with your piss. The 'tahan' bit is easier said than done.
at first memajal lagi kan kamih, I drank loads of water and waited an hour. Typical, masa mau kan kamih nda tia kan tekeluar. Incoming pics:
My pee, which can probably cure cancer
Then we we got our blood pressure checked. I got maximum blood pressure of 110 and minimum of 65, which is very healthy.
Anyway we have to come back tommorow for a blood and urine test. She told me take a urine sample at home. Ada lagi 'technique' nya tu, which is to keluar kan sikit and then tahan and THEN baru tah fill the canister with your piss. The 'tahan' bit is easier said than done.
at first memajal lagi kan kamih, I drank loads of water and waited an hour. Typical, masa mau kan kamih nda tia kan tekeluar. Incoming pics:
My pee, which can probably cure cancer
This plastic bag offends me.
So tommorow blood test, I have to puasa for 12 hours. It's to check for Diabetes. Yikes I hate needles.
Naveen complained about my posts having too much swearing. So here you go Naveen, a post without any swearing. I think this is the first ever! FUCK YEAH! oops
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Anonymous MSN-ers
Hey Blog, it's me Azeef. I know it's been a while but I hope you won't mind me making posts in you, I know you're probably angry at me for abandoning you. You're right and no excuse is good enough, so I hope you can forgive me.
I really hate people who add you up on MSN and then refuse to tell you their name. I'd be like all
friendly and shit and go,'Hey there, what's your name? =) =D =)))))) XDD"
and they'd go," Mana bleh gitau HIHIHIHIHIHI"
at this point I feel like saying "Screw you then"
but being the pussy wuss nice guy I am I don't, and instead say ," Oh ok =)=D =)))))) XDD"
and then say nothing more unless that person says something.
Seriously people, don't do this. It's boring and uninteresting, like talking to some guy at tech support at Telbru.
In fact one of those people even called me out on being 'ambung' , 'nda melayan and 'nda menagur'. THE NERVE!
If you wont even tell me your name then I don't give a flying fuck about you. I don't want to make conversation with you. I don't want to 'melayan' and 'menagur' you. Capisce?
I really hate people who add you up on MSN and then refuse to tell you their name. I'd be like all
friendly and shit and go,'Hey there, what's your name? =) =D =)))))) XDD"
and they'd go," Mana bleh gitau HIHIHIHIHIHI"
at this point I feel like saying "Screw you then"
but being the pussy wuss nice guy I am I don't, and instead say ," Oh ok =)=D =)))))) XDD"
and then say nothing more unless that person says something.
Seriously people, don't do this. It's boring and uninteresting, like talking to some guy at tech support at Telbru.
In fact one of those people even called me out on being 'ambung' , 'nda melayan and 'nda menagur'. THE NERVE!
If you wont even tell me your name then I don't give a flying fuck about you. I don't want to make conversation with you. I don't want to 'melayan' and 'menagur' you. Capisce?
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