Go your own way

Hey folks. I know I haven't posted in a while and for that...I won't apologise. I'm stuck in this hotel near this mall and I'm losing money faster than you can say monthly wage bonuses. I am now bored as hell and am now just sitting on this chair using Afif's laptop watching Izzat playing Guitar hero world tour on expert ( I swear he's too good with this game, it's scary). I'm not so bad myself, can play all songs on medium and some on hard but I doubt you care about that.

Anyway I'm leaving soon for spain where I will do the first parts of my flight training, on the 11th of January to be exact. I'm not certain whether we will have internet or not in the place we'll be living in. So just in case that we don't....Goodbye for two months =)

I've got about 8 months left till I go back to Brunei. And the past 6 months have been pretty fast, I hope it stays that way because I can't wait to see my friends and family back home. But I can't help but dread about the possibility of awkward silences and forgotten names when I get back, but that's normal after all this distance I guess. Oh well I shouldn't worry about it now.

Truth is I'm sad about something. But I don't feel like talking about it so for now I'll just simply don this mask of okay-ness as I normally do.

Winter's approaching

Click pictures to enlarge

Pfft mana sajuk

Portsmouth

Last friday after going back to school, me, Aiman, Zudien and Muk hopped on a train and went to portsmouth to visit his sister and her husband and children. Aku ikut pasal ada masakan orang brunei kali ah hahaha. The prices of branded goods there are unbelievably cheap. I bought a sweet pair of timberland shoes and a pair of pumas, a practical rain jacket + wind breaker, some beanies and some clothes. We went home Sunday, satisfied. Broke but satisfied.

Me, Muk and Zudien on the ferry from portsmouth harbor to portsmouth. It was raining heavily and the winds felt like Icy cold daggers.

Iski wah kan makan.Lama udah nda makan kari ayam, tom yam, nasi yang proper, BANDUNG, sausage since sausage sini selalunya pork. Banyak lagi lah goodies like your mom used to make.

Me and the guys trying out our new beanies. Nda saiz.

Antaaah

Memalui di class, Aiman buat tai lalat macam si muk, Fakhri jadi orang middle aged, si arif Jadi hitler

Kami kacau si Aiman tidur

Esehmen ramley

May the wind be on your backs

Forgive me for the lack of updates. Life here at Cranfield has been pretty busy as of late and if you were in my dirty, worn and slightly damaged shoes, you would understand. And also forgive me for rarely ever going online. By the time I get back to my room from school it'll already be 12 AM for you guys so there's little point...but what I am sorry for the most is being a bad friend. .... I have 4 months of boring groundschool left till I start flying, then it'll be worth it. Maybe then I can wear my Ray-bans without feeling like 'sitaie'.

I've been blog hopping and I found out that you guys had this farewell dinner. Judging from the pictures, I'm glad you guys had an awesome time. Everyone looked so good. Makes me wanna give musa a big fuck you and fly back to Brunei for the night. Good luck to all the scholarshippers, Jangan lupa diri. When you guys get here I'll try to visit as much of you guys as possible on the weekends, If I have enough cash.

Here's my UK phone number: 07594281707
My Brunei phone number : 8989414

Uk Adress : Azeef Khalid
Room 96,Mitchell hall,cranfield university,
Cranfield bedfordshire
Cranfield, Bedfordshire MK43 0AL
United Kingdom


Don't be afraid to visit if you have time. Oh and be sure to tell me your address once you settled in. Would make my life a lot easier. And please once you get a UK line, call me up to say hi. Would be very nice to hear a Bruneian voice for a change =)

This weekend I'm going to scotland, and portsmouth in the next. So uhh might not get online for a bit. Sorry.

Without wax,

Azeef

Zomfg a post

Hey guys, I know I haven't updated in a while but I promised to update soon(yeah right). I dont feel comfortable writing with people around in the lounge but I thought I could at least upload some pictures for your entertainment pasal aku baik. No need to say thank you, kirim sja duit.

Me after scoring with the nurse. Nadawah, we had an X-ray to make sure we don't have tuberculosis, which is a big no no in the UK.

Finally out of heathrow
In the bus on the way to cranfield, which is a 2 hour ride.
Aku menyibuk mobile si Aiman

Abis lah aku ia kantuti

Aiman the terrorist planning his next fart attack
Aiman caught in the act
Zudin retaliates but fails as usual.
On our way to the Milton Keynes shopping mall, which makes Gadong looks like a sack of shit in comparison.
The big spenders
Our uniforms, presented to you by the cheapest models money can buy

Will fly for an Airline near you (not like we have a choice)

Goodbye

On my way back home, I kept thinking about how this is my last day at Maktab Sains. There was a tear inside my heart and it kept getting bigger and bigger. There was a time when I looked forward to this day, but when the day itself arrives...I feel like absolute shit. I held back my tears in the car, biasalah control macho..But when I got into my room I let loose.

I just can't believe today was my last day at school. I can't imagine myself not going to MS and see my friends, joking and fooling around with them. Be capi capi nya orang. And worst of all some of them I've just gotten to know. I regret not befriending them earlier. I was a quiet reserved boy, and I regret that. I could've made much more friends. Don't get me wrong though, I did make a lot of friends, all of them great and special in their own right. It just kills me inside knowing that I won't get to see them much anymore...

I don't want to erase you guys from my life. It's been great and I will cherish every memory. God time flies by so fast. I remember my first day at MS, getting inside the hall. Seeing all the students with their parents. Except for me, my parents didn't come along. Sitting in front of Mateen and commenting on his braces without realizing he's the son of our Sultan. I was young and foolish. Heh I remember my first crush. I told her my feelings and got shot down. That was probably why I don't have the guts to tell anyone my feelings...because I'm afraid of getting hurt again.

Back in the form 1,2 and 3 days. Me, Naqiu, Faiq and Bokh were inseparable. But after P.M.B. I guess being in separate classes we drifted apart. But I guess that's expected, people change. I myself changed quite a lot. Just as the universe expands, so do us humans.
It was during form 5 and Pra-U 1 that I made a lot more friends. Acquaintances became buddies. Inside jokes invented. Nicknames were created. I regret the fact that I only started being more social this year. U.I.C forever. I will miss messing around with you guys at school, I'm gonna miss playing football with you guys, I'm gonna miss staying back and doing nothing with you guys, I'm gonna miss playing counter-strike with you guys. I'm gonna miss the 'UIC' corner at the canteen.
I'm gonna miss the lasagna 'soup'.

I am worried. Worried that I won't be able to see you guys often, if any at all. I just hope you will remember me, because I sure as hell won't forget you.

Udah eh basah karang keyboard ku. All the best for your 'A' levels everyone. I know you guys will do great. Kalau inda ku tikam kau.

Welcome to the Jungle

This saturday morning I will leave from the Handicrafts center in Bandar to Temburong where I will spend 6 days 5 nights in the jungle. Wish me luck, I will have to contend against tribes of cannibals, flesh eating disease, Mosquitoes the size of pens and other unseen dangers. Despite all this I remain confident I would survive this ordeal, even though my right wrist is injured. I'm the one-armed bandit bitches, nothing can bring me down.

As a toast for my future torture session I ordered pizza, a large super supreme. Which I finished by myself. A feat to be proud of. Tell your grandchildren. When I think about it pizza is the perfect representation of human civilization. It's in an orderly circle, divided into slices, greasy, unhealthy, impersonal, cold and lacks personality but goooooooooooooooood.

Stalking around in the jungle looking for food to last you the cold nights, you spot a monkey. It goes into a blind rage, followed by a testosterone induced charge towards you. You give it a hard headbutt to defend yourself, it staggers. You take this opportunity to grab it by the neck, and beat it's face to a bloody pulp. When the monkey goes limp, you grab it's neck and twist until you hear a satisfying crick. Eat it raw or cook it, your preference.

Now THAT'S food with a personal touch.

Un bandido armado

I sprained my wrist and elbow of my right arm yesterday while playing handball during PE. I collided with Adlan and we both fell. It wasn't really that bad until after I decided to continue playing. Biasalah stubborn kali ah aku ani. Besides I hate watching other people have fun while I'm not. So now I can't write or lift my arm without experiencing excruciating pain. No bones are broken fortunately. But my arm muscles are messed up. I had to go through the rest of the school day writing with my left hand, which is fortunately legible hahaha and basically doing everything with only my left arm. This could jeopardize my scholarship but I remain confident that it'll heal in a week. Don't get me wrong though, it sucks hard. I'm typing with my left arm, using the mouse in left handed mode, eating using the left hand, picking my nose with my left hand, washing my ass with my left hand, flipping people off with my left middle finger and etc.

I can't tie my shoes, open a wrapper, open lids, use a belt, put money back in my wallet, unplug stuff, wear my watch, open my pencil case and so on without help. I guess this made me appreciate my right arm more. I guess it's true when they say you don't know what you've got til' it's gone. It's a two armed world out there.

I broke my xbox 360 after getting really pissed off at it. Y'see I bought this new game, original, cost me a 100 bucks. Got home really excited to play it. Only to find out my 360 scratched it to hell. So what did ol' Azeef do? He kicked it to oblivion that's what. Serves that overpriced garbage can right. It wasnt the first time this happened. Now it's just another paperweight. Dead. Gone to electric heaven. I'll just go get a new one when I have the cash. A new AND functional one, that doesnt scratch my expensive games. Karma's such a bitch sometimes.

I'm not that sad by this loss really, in fact I'm a bit glad I broke the damn thing. I'm getting too old for video games anyway

See? I'm angry AND happy at the same time. I'm a friggin walking paradox.

Zeef shuffles

I was bored and stressed before an interview. So what do I do?

ishuffle:

Hey Lady Luck

I tossed a coin and,
heads was what I got,
I cleaned them out,
thank you lady luck,
you know you're all I've got.

Hey Lady luck,
You look lovely tonight,
I don't mean to give you a fright,
but how bout one last kiss,
to help me win this fight.

Hey Lady luck,
You've got time,space and matter,
wrapped around your pretty little finger,
So if I may,
Just one little favor,
make things go my way.

Hey Lady luck,
You might forget your manners,
You might refuse to stay,
And so the best I can do is pray.

Hey Lady luck,
tell me something I want to hear,
Say I have nothing to fear,
with this scholarship I hold so dear.

There's an angel on my table

At the request of Sarah, cause she knows I can't say no.

1. What disappoints you the most?
When people say," Yeah I'll do it." But don't.

2. Where will you go if someone sponsor you a tour ticket?
Mexico baby.

3. What's your favorite thing to do?
Listen to music, play video games, watch my favorite TV shows. And also angan-angan thinking about stuff.

4. Do you think money can buy happiness?
Things that make me happy are as follows : Food, video games, movies, music and more food. What do they all have in common? They all cost money. Therefore Money=happiness. Money is great, if you don't like it, give it to me.

5. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
To soar high in the skies. While getting paid. (laid too maybe).

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Nope. Straight no.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
Myself, my sanity and most of all, my friends

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Do the smart thing, invest to get more Dinero. Once my rich-ness is secure, help other people that I know personally as I don't trust charities.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
When it comes to love, I have zero confidence so probably no. Call me a pussy if you want but it's not like you're any better.

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you?
Sarah. A girl who knows how to take charge, which is pretty hot. Smart and has a good sense of humor.

11. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
Understanding and honest.

12. What type of person do you hate the most?
The two-faced. The thief. The backstabbing assassin.The manipulative Sith lord. People who say bad things about me behind my back. When you have a problem with me say it to my face, I'm tired of charades.

13. What is your ambition?

To wear an airline captain uniform and sporting a pair of sexy Ray-ban sunglasses.

14. If you can teleport once, where would you go?

Fort knox, sja pasal banyak gold sana.

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

My happiness.My wellbeing. My health. Because in life it all comes down to one thing, yourself.

16. If you could undo doing one mistake in the past, what would it be?

My mistakes are what made me, me.

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
I wish I was more organized.

18. What music have you been listening to recently?
Dream awake by The frames

19. What is your least favourite animal?
Elephants because they're just ugly.

20. What do you do to relax?
Play songs in my head =)

Instructions: Remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged

Zaty
Zatul
Mahirah
Izzah
Izzy
Ian
Syarifah
Pyotr

Zeef goes zen

I have been under a lot of strain lately from school, R.B.A , the MOE interviews and the medical check ups. And frankly, it's been eating me away.

Musa the person in charge of the new pilot candidates is a tight-ass. He constantly puts us in the pressure pot. And would lay any of us off in a heartbeat if he deems so. Despite what people and myself have been saying, I am not 100% guaranteed that I am going to be sent for flight training. I still have to make myself worthy for MOE and pass all my medicals and keep Mr.Musa happy.

Which leaves me thinking, what if I don't get this scholarship? Will it be the end for me? No, a thousand times no. My friends have hyped up the news that I got the scholarship considerably. Which makes me a bit uneasy, I don't like to disappoint anyone. IF I don't get this scholarship, I will just continue my A-levels and achieve good results, making my options wider. Who knows, not getting it may be the best thing that will happen to me. A stumble may prevent a fall. When one door closes, many more will always open.

Will I be disappointed with myself? Again NO. If I am not pleased with myself, but should wish to be other than I am, why should I think highly of the influences which have made me what I am? Every ordeal happens for a reason. To make you stronger. I have learned quite a lot from Musa and for that I am grateful. I am a better person because of him. That alone makes this whole experience worthwhile. Scholarship or no scholarship, thank you MR Musa.

Got rejected from a scholarship? It's not the end of the world. Don't go for some other scholarship you don't really want out of desperation. I know I know, when the pain is great enough, we will let anyone play doctor. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Rejection hurts a lot and no deep wound leave no scars. So after some time, take a quick look at your scars and remember what you've learned. They are not things to be ashamed of, because they show your worth as a person. Just remember that whatever is done, is done. A thousand men can't undress a naked man. Just.move.on.

The world outside

E-speed has been down for almost 3 days now. And I'm trying to find alternative ways of entertaining myself. I might have to go....*gasp* outside.

My imaginary friend, Pyotr will be my guide. After opening the front door for the first time I was greeted by a blazing hot luminous ball of fire in the sky. It's radiance was burning my skin so I quickly went back inside, after catching my breath I asked Pyotr what the aforementioned blazing hot luminous ball of fire was called. He told me it was known as the sun. Hmm must research further.

After gathering enough courage, and after layers of sunblock I managed to venture outside. Pyotr thought that we should play a game. He gave me a long stick, with an oblong shape as it's 'head', it had a net of some sorts.Pyotr demonstrated to me how the game is to be played. We are to use the stick to hit a feathery object of unknown origin and deflect it toward each other. Very interesting and quite fun.

After Pyotr got bored of me sucking, he decided that our next activity would be to take a 'walk' around the 'neighbourhood'. During which I met other 'people' called 'humans' who look a little different than I do but act very similar. Must research further, could it be that this 'outside' harbors intelligent life? Me an Pyotr moved on until we reached a place called a 'shopping complex' and I observed that humans like to gather there and exchange little pieces of paper for food and other material objects. Pyotr told me, quite sadly that humans are forced to work themselves hard to obtain those little pieces of paper, sometimes to the breaking point but alas that is how the world works he added. I observed that humans tend to divide themselves into groups. Based on what clothes they wear,the type of music they listen to and how they behave. A particular group called 'emo's baffles me, they defy all rules of evolution, because they vie to self-destruct. And they seem to be hated by everyone. Must research further.I found that this 'categorisation' is sad and division always leads to hate and bigotry.

Oh I forgot to mention that there are two types of humans, male and female. They both are very different in terms of appearance but also very similar, as one of the 'rappers' always say, ya dig?Sometimes a male falls in 'love' with a female and if the female likes the male they will be called a 'couple'.This symbiotic relationship is highly baffling and often self-destructive. But it can also be, at the same time beautiful and full of meaning. I can safely say that I am male and 'single'. I notice that these couples tend to 'fight' over small and trivial matters, and sometimes even 'break up' over them. Quite sad really, because I personally think they should appreciate that they have someone to share your problems and thoughts with, someone to care for and have a deep connection with. Things that 'singles' lack in their lives.


It was time to head home. During the way we passed by a school. Pyotr told me that school is the most important time in a human's life. It is where they study and make friends. It is the veritable furnace where it is up to them to shape their own fate and futures.

I am tired and it is time to bring this thesis to a close. Humans are odd but great creatures, highly diverse and capable. Even with the great uncertainty in their lives and the curse of death, they go on with great hope and optimism. An admirable trait.

Manic but never lethargic

Azeef

Azeef's happy fun rainbow adventure

I woke up really bombed and hung over because I fasted for 14 hours, being hungry and not being able to eat sucks ass. Anyway I showered and - by the way I have this one song shower rule, I play Audioslave's be yourself really loud on my computer so I can hear it in the shower. when the song's over I stop showering. Why? To stop me from getting carried away and not be late for school haha. Where was I? oh yeah after showering I went to Anggerek Desa and met up with the other candidates, there should be 10 of us but Aiman and Zul were late ( as usual). Hahah kami sorang sorang membawa urine sample lapas tu kami banding-banding, bnyk tia STD jokes terabang.

I was the third to have the blood test, Zudin was first. It was funny seeing him flinch hahahahah.
When it was my turn start tia becali dorang, ketawa2 nurse nya iatah guyang2 the needle -_- , even now my arm's still a bit sore. She took two small test tubes worth of blood.

After everyone was done kami ke RIPAS to get our ECG test ( To check for heart beat, systole and diastole all that jazz, to check for any abnormalities) and X-rays. We split up into two groups, I was in the ECG group. We went to the chest clinic and met this guy who is apparently a sadistic maniac who enjoys psychological torture. Masa my turn he connected these wires to my chest ad tanya ," Sakit ni, at least 500 volts ni." So I was laying there, nervous and after 5 seconds he said ," Bah abis udah, pakai tah baju". I was like ," WTF that's it?" I felt nothing, that bastard. My heart rate was 90 beats per minute tarus -_-

After we're all done he showed us all our graphs, mine was probably the funniest looking because my amplitude BASAR brabis, pasal TAKUT iatah KUAT my heartbeats -_- . Next, the X-rays. I was excited because it was the first X ray I ever took. It was quick and painless , but we didnt get to see our X ray pics though unfortunately.

The clerks told us our medical reports would be ready in the afternoon so what to do? What we did was we went to Ah thai or something, can't remember the name, for lunch. Everyone was really hungry because technically we havent eaten in 16 hours. So we gobbled our lunches and went to the mall to kill time.

Kali balik ke RIPAS, get our results etc etc and went back to anggerek desa to hand our results in. Mine's all good so far.

The end, because my left arm still sucks.

My piss

After finishing school at 12.30 I went for medical centre berakas for a medical check up. I came early though at around 12.50 so I had to wait for an hour and 10 minutes pasal the place tutup lunch break -_- . Anyway I asked around for the doctor and went up to the third floor where her office is. She gave me a long briefing about my appointments, I wasnt really listening and was thinking about how hot she was. I'm a guy so sue me.


Then we we got our blood pressure checked. I got maximum blood pressure of 110 and minimum of 65, which is very healthy.



Anyway we have to come back tommorow for a blood and urine test. She told me take a urine sample at home. Ada lagi 'technique' nya tu, which is to keluar kan sikit and then tahan and THEN baru tah fill the canister with your piss. The 'tahan' bit is easier said than done.



at first memajal lagi kan kamih, I drank loads of water and waited an hour. Typical, masa mau kan kamih nda tia kan tekeluar. Incoming pics:

My pee, which can probably cure cancer

This plastic bag offends me.

So tommorow blood test, I have to puasa for 12 hours. It's to check for Diabetes. Yikes I hate needles.

Naveen complained about my posts having too much swearing. So here you go Naveen, a post without any swearing. I think this is the first ever! FUCK YEAH! oops

Anonymous MSN-ers

Hey Blog, it's me Azeef. I know it's been a while but I hope you won't mind me making posts in you, I know you're probably angry at me for abandoning you. You're right and no excuse is good enough, so I hope you can forgive me.

I really hate people who add you up on MSN and then refuse to tell you their name. I'd be like all
friendly and shit and go,'Hey there, what's your name? =) =D =)))))) XDD"

and they'd go," Mana bleh gitau HIHIHIHIHIHI"

at this point I feel like saying "Screw you then"

but being the pussy wuss nice guy I am I don't, and instead say ," Oh ok =)=D =)))))) XDD"

and then say nothing more unless that person says something.

Seriously people, don't do this. It's boring and uninteresting, like talking to some guy at tech support at Telbru.

In fact one of those people even called me out on being 'ambung' , 'nda melayan and 'nda menagur'. THE NERVE!
If you wont even tell me your name then I don't give a flying fuck about you. I don't want to make conversation with you. I don't want to 'melayan' and 'menagur' you. Capisce?